Log:The One About Maddox's Embarrassing Moment

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The One About Maddox's Embarrassing Moment
Participants

Etsy, Dielle, Jon and Leo

28 June, 2017


Dinner and a story about Maddox, who isn't even there.

Location

Ok, so Dielle is in the back room at the Crossroads Cafe. She just doesn't have the energy for mundanity and watching her mouth right now. She's got pancakes and bacon in front of her, a go-to when she's here, and some fruit salad, and a mug of coffee. She looks pretty upbeat and happy, and that's a nice thing for her! She's wearing layered tank tops and jeans, and her straw cowboy hat. About 1/4 of the pancakes are gone, and they appear to have bacon in them.


"Froooom a great height, come on raaaain down, raaaain down." When sirens sing, people turn their heads. Esther comes drifting in from the door to the main room, singing to herself. Well, singing along with the headphones in her ears. She drifts one way and then the next, until she spots Dielle, and then comes toward her, floating light as detritus on top of the ocean. Apparently some mermaids sing Radiohead. Without an invitation given or asked, she slides in across from Dielle, wearing basically all of her clothes at once, a thrifted pile. Her hair's still damp from the last time she swam, which must have been recently. "Diellleeee," she croons, pulling her earphones from her ears. When the wait staff assigned back here come to take her order, Etsy orders steak and eggs and bacon and sausage and coffee, her eyes glittering. "Having a foods time!"


"Food is the time to have," agrees Dielle. "How are ya, Etsy? You should sit with me! Wait. You are! YAAAAY!" She grins at the order, and sips some coffee. "I'd like to say that sounds good, but I am what I am and I do love my grain-based foods. Do you have any idea how GOOD bread tasted when I first got back?"


Dielle's invitation makes Etsy beam. She wiggles a little bit in her chair and carefully puts away her white wired headphones. The mermaid frowns a little bit, and shifts from side to side briefly. "Well, I do," Etsy answers, explaining, "When first was back, tried to eat all the things? And a breads was a good taste, but then I... " the mermaid puts her hand on her stomach and briefly mimes being nauseated. "So no more breads for a mermaids. Only meats, honeys, eggs. Meats, honeys, eggs." She taps her fingers on the table. "OH! I should tell you a stories."


"You should. And don't worry, when I first got back, I had to eat meat. Didn't agree with me too well, after bein' a vegetarian by nature. I got used to some, and sometimes a bit more, but never a lot. On the other hand, Jon's had to cut the carbs because he's back into football training, which makes it rough. Ok, storytime!"


Jon waded into the back room and leaned down and bit Dielle's head. Yup. That was hullo. He only caught half of that, "You talkin about when you were still workin at teh strip club?" He looked to the fishie and upnodded. "Hey." That was pretty much for conversation out of Jon who dropped his heavy ass book ont eh table and then his phone on top of it. he helped himself to a seat.


"Is like a strip clubs is where many a Springs are. There was a strip club in the Maines where some of my friends worked," Esther comments absently, swinging her little feet while she waits for her food to arrive. "Hello, a Jon-friend! Come sit. I am going to tell a story of embarassing about Maddox-friend. Who is my friends even if he pretends he is not friends with a mermaids." She taps her fingers on the tabletop, a mass of manic energy. "A Maddox... taking my foods. At the Wayhouse. First. Is not the embarassing parts, but is importants."


Michael comes in from the temproom hub.


And suddenly, Leo is there. The door is pushed open to admit Leo into the room. He's holding a plate with a hamburger and onion rings on it up as he walks backwards through the door, balancing the plate carefully as one ring has fallen and is only hooked onto another ring by the smallest amount of batter-to-batter contact. A single wrong move spells disaster for the dangling onion ring, and Leo's other hand is holding a large glass of coke so it cannot help. "I dunno what you guys're talking about, but I need help immediately Etsy," because who wouldn't recognize that voice? "please, save this onion ring and put it on my plate and I will give you a quarter of the burger's meat. Please, it is dire." Leo's tone is rushed. This is life and death to him, apparently. He -really- likes the onion rings here.


"I used to bartend at a strip club. Jon used to be floor manager. We both bounced a bit." She smiles at Jon, the head-biting is definitely hello. "I hadn't been talkin' 'bout it, but apparently I am now!" She sees Leo and waves him over. "Oh my god. They have beer battered onion rings?" Her eyes open wide and she says, "That's gonna be dessert."


Says Dielle.


The mermaid looks at the onion ring for a moment as though she is totally disgusted that such a thing exists. SOMEONE TOOK A PLANT AND COVERED IT IN MORE PLANT? EW. But Leo knows how to get to Etsy: he offers her a meat. Quickly, quickly, the mermaid lunges at the onion ring, catching it just as it loses contact with the other, just as the batter gives way, and then plops it back onto Leo's plate triumphantly. "Saving the ring of onions, my payment is A MEATS," Esther offers enthuasiastically, forgetting all about the embarassing story she was about to tell about Maddox. "Sit, Leo, I get my foods." She offers a seat at her side of the booth to Leo, on account of Dielle and Jon are on the other side.


Jon didn't forget. Hell it was almost frighteningly easy to forget the wall of meat and ice was there. One hand folded over fits to set his chin on and idly he waited for the movement to stop before asking "Yeah she was just about to tell us how MAds got assailed by food or somehting. Sup Leo?"


Leo lets out a satisfied, "Yesssssss." as Etsy saves the onion ring, and he follows her over to the table, taking a seat and pushing the plate onto the table. "Yes, yes, one sec Etsy." he says, grabbing a napkin and opening his burger. He cuts a fairly precise looking quarter out of the burger and sets it on the napkin, which he places in front of Etsy, letting her see the burger so the knows that she got the full twenty five percent if she seems interested. Then he cuts the burger up into strips and layers it across the burger so that it has more even coverage, rather than just be missinga corner. "Wait, Mads got assailed by food?" He asks, looking over at Etsy as he works to fix up his burger. Ketchup is obtained and dumped onto it. Then ketchup is dumped onto the plate.


Dielle offers Jon a piece of bacon, and then cuts off some of the pancakes for herself. They're very strange: they're filled with bits of peach and bits of pre-cooked bacon.


When she comes back with a giant platter filled with meat and eggs, Etsy settles in next to Leo. She leans over to the side and puts her head companionably on the constellation's shoulder in greeting before taking the 25 percent of the burger to which she is now lawfully entitled, chirruping, "Pleaseandthankyou a foods, Leo!" The burger piece disappears into her piranha-toothed maw in a single chomp. CHOMP. When she's done with that, she scoops up two eggs (one for each hand) and devours them, licking her fingers afterwards with a gusto that's, well... Spring-like.

"Okay so... a Maddox, he had the taking of the foods of a mermaid." Esther huffs, picking up a piece of bacon and stuffing it in her maw. "He stealinged my turkey. One whole piece. I got an angries, and... " Her shoulders roll. "I bited his hand." Did anyone expect any different? "He did not have a bothers so much but a stealing of a foods is a revenges for sures. So... I taking my bags and I am going to the junkyard. Was going to waits for a Maddox to be asleeps and put a dead fish on his head." Like you do?


-> >> Jon to Here << <-===============================================

Rolled 3 Successes 
< 2 4 4 4 5 5 7 8 8 10 >

-> >> 2 + Composure + Subterfuge.Britcom_Level_Deadpan No Flags << <-=

It was really hrd to tell if he was following any of this as his bodylanguage had less movement than a glacier (sans Titanic). He blinked and said "Go ooooooon." Either to get some context or because he had to see where this went. Either way the woman was on a roll and he was not inclined to stop her.


Game: Etsy has a "Persuasion" Skill of 4 (Specialties: "Big Eyes" and "Wide-eyed Pleading").


Game: Etsy has a "Subterfuge" Skill of 3 (Specialties: "Super Innocent").


Game: Jon has a "Intimidation" Skill of 3 (Specialties: "1k Yard Stare").


Once the burger is done, Leo turns to listen to the story, head cocking to the side a touch as he listens. He gets an amused look on his face at Etsy's story, and he laughs and nods quickly a few times, "I very much suggest putting a fish in Maddox's pocket while he's sleeping. That's gonna be hilarious." he says, brightly, talking around bites of onion rings and hamburger. "He had to know it was a bad idea to steal Etsy's food. He was probably just seeing what you'd do though, you're new, you know?." Leo explains, as if that makes it all ok. After all, Leo literally always makes excuses for Maddox. "What happened after you bit his hand?"


"Knowing Maddox? He was trying to think of it as a scientific explody experiment." And Dielle doesn't even know him that well! "He does like to push the boundaries, doesn't he?" She turns to offer a grin to Jon. And repeats the offer of the piece of bacon because she's still holding it.


-> >> Jon to Here << <-===============================================

Rolled 4 Successes 
< 1 3 4 4 6 8 9 9 9 >

-> >> 2 + Composure + Subterfuge.Britcom_Level_Deadpan No Flags << <-=

Jon was being fed bacon, either because he was being given a scooby snack for behaving, OR... because she was generous. He'd go agains thte better odds and decide the latter. "Etsy either that or take his wallet, put it in a tupperware container, fill with water and put it in the back of the freezer." This was given with all teh seriousness that scientific theory deserves. "Food is sacred but remember that goes both ways. You don't touch his either. without askin."


-> >> Etsy to Here << <-==============================================

Rolled 1 Success 
< 1 1 2 2 2 3 4 8 >

=======================-> >> Manipulation + Expression 9-Again << <-

"He said 'ow' and I had to eating a cheroot laters because I chipped a tooth," Etsy sighs, adding, "It hurted but I did not show him or tell him so because is not winning for him." Esther shoves another egg in her face, and then licks her fingers elaborately. "Even if only to knows what an Etsy would dos, is not a goodness, is not to be stealing my foods. A foods is MY foods." Hmph. She nods solemnly toward Jon. "Nobody take a foods. Oooh, Leo, give the mayonnaise please?" Stealing food reminds her of the deliciousness she discovered by pirating condiments from Leo's plate. "Okay so I came to the junkyards, and letting self in with bag, and Maddox is runnings around in junkyard with doggos. Is sweets! He is having a plays with doggos. With a steaks. And I was going to be putting a fish on his heads but instead I just becomed not a separations so he could see me and he goes... "

And then Esther mugs for a moment, doing if not a perfect impression of Maddox being caught out being cute with his dogs, then a rather passable one. Maddox: caught! Embarrassed. Embarassed robot face. Awkward robot face. "And then, with his hand of meat juices from steak for dogs, he goes," and then she mimes wiping her hand through her long hair (but does not do it, because unlike Maddox, she doesn't smear food in her hair, that's a waste of food). "And his hair goes bzzt bzzt spark spark because he putting a meat juice in his hairs."


Jon took away the most inportant part of that message after stairing expressionless, but giving Etsy his undivided attention. The Jotun turned to Dielle getting up and saying "We're not getting a cat." And there's his takeaway from that. "I'm'a go grab food and go say hey to Ray so he doesn't wander on back here. ...I gotta meet these dogs." Huh. well that's good to know. Filed under things usedul to remember later, thank you fishie.


"Oh shit, you saw his dogs." Leo says with an abrupt laugh, watching the faces with a wide grin. "That is like.. a really good Mads." he says, his hair constellation twinkling idly through blue and pink in his amusement. Leo glances to Jon and lifts his hand in a wave. "Later man." Leo reaches for the mayo and slides it over to Etsy, commenting, "I guess mayo is what, just eggs and vinegar? So it makes sense you like mayo." Leo says, pausing and saying, "I've been getting books on how to cook." he says by way of explanation. Then he looks down to his burger, lifting it up to his mouth then taking a bite and chewing before saying. "So did he introduce you to the dogs? Or did you leave? Or? How'd he react past the sparky hair?" Leo asks, interestedly.


Dielle giggles because it's a good impression and she's now imagining Maddox with a head full of meat-juice, pretending that he doesn't coo and ask 'whoosa good doggie, then?' because we all know he does. "But..." Too late. The Jotun is gone. "He'd be so cute with a tiny floofy kitten sleeping on his head." She sighs. "Etsy, I'm kinda sorry that I missed that! That's AWESOME!" Then she pauses, and says, "It's actually eggs and oil. Mayo, I mean." She might have watched a few cooking shows.


She is discracted by the mayonnaise for a moment, putting a bunch of it on the plate. "BYE JON," she calls after the retreating ice-man. Her egg-covered fingers wiggle in the air. "Yes, it is more eggs for my meat and eggs," agrees the mermaid. "He would have a cutes with a tiny kitton, this is truth." And yes, she does say 'kitton.' "It is amazing, the mayo, on the sausages, which I did because of the Leo did putting it on his french fries so I tried it." And then she demostrates, picking up a sausage, dipping it in the mayo, and taking a bite of it. "So, yes, he introducing me to the dogs, and then he giving me a steaks. I think it is that we are the evens now. He steals a foods, I am catch an embarassing."


"Oh right, oil." Leo says in a kinda dumbfounded voice. He shakes his head and says, "This is why I don't cook. I'd probably have looked up a recipe at least." He says with a faint smile and a shrug. "Jon would totally look adorable with a kitten on his head, I agree though." he says with a small nod of affirmation. Then he leans back into his seat and takes another bite of his hamburger. "The dogs are cool." He says once he's swallowed. "I'm gonna have to tease him about being snuck up on by a mermaid though." he says, setting his burger back down atop the plate and going back to onion rings, dipping one in ketchup and then taking a loud, crunchy bite.


Dielle is going there. "Like that cartoon with the bulldog and the tiny kitton." Yes, she says it "kee-ton." Hey, when a thing is good, you stick with it. Then she focuses. "I'll have to meet the dogs, too! I like dogs! And onion rings!" That's not a hint. That's really not a hint. That is totally a hint. She doesn't expect Leo to agree.


"Is what I does, though, is a sneakings. One time I did a deliveries without the person ever seeing me. And I did one time put a fire on a house where is was someone being kidnapped after the kidnapped person I take out with mirror, and then we puts a fire, and then kidnapper runs out and we catchings." Etsy swings her feet absently under the booth bench on which she's sitting. "Yes, the dogs are a niceness. Even the one without the hairs. They are named Tick and a Tock." She stuffs more food in her face, and changes the subject absently. "I am missing a pod. Had a pod in Maines." She sniffs. "Just remembering because the stories."


Michael slides the plate toward the center as Dielle doesn't hint. "You should have some onion rings, they seriously do make the absolute best onion rings that I've -ever- had." Leo says amiably, grinning at Dielle. "You should eat as many as you want, I'm pretty stuffed actually." Leo pats his stomach lightly and looks over at Etsy, with a blink, "Wait you used mirrors to light a house on fire after stealing a kidnapping victim?" He sounds impressed, and interested, "Is that all you did? Just use the mirrors? Because that's -so- legit. IF I get kidnapped, you have to rescue me with mirrors." he declares, with a nod, "Like if you can I mean." he adds a second later. "Or whatever."


Except Leo.


Dielle stares at Etsy, and says, "Oh man, if you join the Harvestmen, ask to be part of Rorschach's squad. The Irregulars!" Then she turns those big eyes on Leo. "You are my favorite person on the planet for the next ten minutes," she announces and grabs an onion ring. Because those are soooooooo good.


"Oh, no, I used a lighters for the fires. But. I rescued them with a mirrors. Not here but I will show you how I does it. Is the same ways I brought the meads when we had the meads on the Go Away. I holding her hand and take her out through the mirrors. I carried the mirrors in being invisibles, and I put down the mirrors and then I taking her hands and then I am goings." Esther shifts her weight on the seat again and looks at her plate. "I am not so much for the fighting. So maybe not Harvestmen. But I am good to be helping. Probably Watchers is a thing, and Greenies also. Maybe is too manies." She finally picks up her steak, holding it in both hands, and starts eating it like it's a sandwich. "If you are steals, and kidnaps, I will come and a rescuing," she assures Leo.


"Oh that makes sense. I was like.. you used the mirror to make the fire too? That's nuts." He looks down at her with interest when she talks about teaching, smiling at her and nodding, "Awesome. I definitely want you to show me the mirror tricks. That bag you had? With the mirrors inside? That's -really- clever." he says with a satisfied nod. Dielle gets a smile too, his stars tinkling happily once more. "Awesome, don't tell Jon, he's way bigger than me." he says, lightly. He settles back into his seat and drinks his coke from the straw, watching Etsy. "I'm a Harvestman, Mads is too. It's pretty cool, but a lot of fighting." he agrees. "I dunno much about the Watchers, but I hear good things about the Greenies." he says with a small smile. Her final statement makes him nod, "Good, same for you. Mermaids are good luck probably."


"Well, it's hard to make fire with a mirror at night. Easier during the day. And Jon can suck it up, if he wants to be my favorite person for that ten minutes, he can buy me my own onion rings. Either way, I'm also part of the Watchers, too." Dielle grins and tips her hat back so that her eyes can be properly seen: black fields of stars, the sign of the Family of Silent Nights. "If y'all get any weird things haunting your dreams, that's my job to trap them."