Difference between revisions of "Log:Chap-A-Rone"

30 July 2017

Three Changelings run into each other in the Hedge and discuss exit strategies

Hedge - Looptrod - Skip-a-Step

Hello, Hedge. Cressida has been spending a lot of time topside lately, pretending to be a Regular Human(tm) and, for the most part, failing miserably. Well, maybe not failing but getting a solid D- with notes from the teacher that say:

'See me after class'

'Does not work to potential'

'Does not meet expectations'

You know, stuff like that.

So here she is, in the Hedge. She doesn't belong here either frankly. This isn't her turf. She's a being without a home -- although she has THOUGHTS on that subject. Go ahead and ask her about them if you want a rambling earful. But even though this isn't her realm, she fits in a little better here than out there so it offers a bit of a breather. But she must be careful here. Carefuller. Must not draw attention. So what is she doing?

Jumping back and forth over crevasses.

Sure, she could just turn into a ball of light and zip around but where is the fun in that? She wants the excitement, the danger, of possibly miscalculating her leaps and falling to her death! WHEEEE!

There are many ways to traverse through the Hedge -- and let's face it, with a trod like this near a Hedgegate like that? Skip-A-Step is practically a freeway! A real intersection, with all sorts of Wyrd Folk going here-and-there. Take that glowing beacon of chaos over there, right? From the shadows of a rocky out crop, near some of those Earthen looking trees, some of the Bright One's light gets reflected.

Glint, glint - shine, shine. Iridescent eyes reflect in the gloom.

But never sparkle. Shadows move, and with it steps out the looming figure of an Ogress, dressed like she's just jumped off a freight train on her way to an Against Me! show or something. Punk. As. Fuck -- on top of the mountaineering rucksack on her back, she's wearing a battle vest which is made up primarily of patches and embroidery thread. Dirty jeans that cut off under the knee are similarly fixed up via a whole lot of crude sewing, and... And she isn't even wearing any shoes. My, what big feet she has!

Uschi is a she, right? Yeah, probably. The Ogress doesn't move much once she's stepped out to watch the acrobatics show -- she just stands there, all lop sided, lurched to the side a bit. Her left arm? Just hangs there, the scaly, translucent pink skin an entirely different colour than the rest of her. She got Boarder Reaver sickness or something? Ugh! Whatever's wrong with her, the Ogress seems to give zero fucks - zero! - about watching Cressida like she's been given a personal invitation to a local circus.

Her ruddy right hand is raised, but Uschi does not clap -- just waves it in the air. Clapping requires two hands. Only of of Uschi's seems to work.

Candice is new to the area. Of course she'd take some time to explore! Especially when it was wildflowers and woodlands that attracted her attention in the first place. ANd who would think it, but while taking a pleasant like, she'd run across a hedgegate? A little pop in to the local hedge, to get some of that wyrd-infused air-- the flower is now happily standing at the very edge of the trod, dressed in overalls made of...something. Not denim. They were originally grey, one would assume, but now are speckled with faded paint that never fully departed and bleach stains. Below it, a pink and white long-sleeved shirt, made of something lacy. Not a traditional hiking shirt, by far. A rucksack is over her shoulder, a sketchbook at her feet while she streeeetches to remain on the trod, yet pluck at a growing weed in a puddle of water, pooled into a crevasse.

She's carelessly intent on getting to those weeds, whatever they are, her back on the rest of the hedge - her hair is loose and full, and she practically glows in the sun, pale as she is, a delicate blossom at the edge of the trod.

She yelp, all of a sudden, and falls back onto her butt, face fretful-- but she looks to her hand, and there is a bundle of plants, pulled enough the plump, slimy roots are still attached, which seems to please her immensely. "Finally! The last!" She says happily, before pulling a ziploc bag from a pocket and shoving the herbs in. Only then does she look around and-- oh wow what the he-- oh, a person! Candice waves towards Uschi... before following her gaze to the jumping Cressida. Blinking. "Oh wow. Isn't she afraid she's going to fall? She'll get herself badly hurt if she does!" The fragile flower frets.

SHE ISN'T EVEN USING WIND. SHE ISN'T EVEN USING OMEN. SHE'S JUST JUMPING. OMG Cressida, you reckless nut. She goes for bigger and bigger gaps, throwing herself across them more and more quickly, and doesn't even give herself any time to judge, to measure, to assess. She just flings herself forward, ever forward, and relishes the feeling of her body moving through space. The adrenalin coursing through her form, her heart hammering faster and faster, the sound of it like drums beating to a crescendo.

Faster!

Further!

Jump!

Jump!

JUMP!

She barely makes the last one, only just catching the edge. She windmills her arms and pitches her body forward, stumbling away from the edge with her remaining momentum .. and nearly falls smack into Uschi. The star is flush with manic joy and her galaxy is rightly expanded, the celestial bodies that surround her spinning in wide orbits. "/HI/," she pants and fistbumps the Ogre in the shoulder (not the dead one although that might have just been by lucky chance) before barking out a crowing laugh. HA!

It's at this point that she notices Candice as well and recognition lights up (literally -- glow glow gloooow) across her features. "Hey! I know you! You did laundry. Wassup." The star glances around and then looks the Flower over again from top to bottom. She's a delicate thing, this one, and the Hedge is a dangerous place. "You here by yourself?"

Uschi stares back at Candice, as the delicate petal woman communicates with her. Wait. How long has Uschi been there in the shadows of that rocky outcrop? Wait... Has she been, been /stalking/ Candice or-- look, they're smiling at each other now. Is Uschi's a nice smile? Well it's a smile! Even if her features are rather hidden in shadow, regardless of the ambient light.

That's Moon, yo.

"Yea, yea - I reckon she would." Uschi croaks - her voice rough and uncertain, like walking over loose shale. She sniffs in twice, lifting a grimy hand to wipe at her nose as she glances towards the leaping Elemental. In sharp contrast, everything Uschi seems to do is slow an d laborious. Even answering questions. "...I call first dibs on 'er stuff."

What?!

Before that avenue of thought can be followed through, Uschi's eagle-eyed vigilance pays off: the Ogress' good arm raises, held out not to catch Cressida more than stop her from getting closer than Uschi wants. Doink! Woman is /hard/ to move. That fist-bump is given a slow, careful consideration, then she turns and blinks slowly at the Bright One. Then back over, to the little Poison Petal. Slowly, and with greeeeeat effort on Uschi's part, she squints her eyes /thoughtfully/.

"...Youse two'd do well, ta get hoppin' through that 'gate, an back ta safer ground." Look, Uschi CARES. She sniffs in again, eyeing both Elementals in turn. "Ain't neither of you the Hedge Witch In Charge 'round these parts, so... Ya reckon ya know where ta look in town, to find out who is?"

Candice watches with such /worried/ eyes, as Cressida hops around so carelessly! Those red-tinged eyes turn towards Uschi now and then, to see if the other is as concerned-- and since she's not, perhaps it helps the thin flower recover, some. Until Uschi /speaks/, of course. "No jinxing her-- careful, Crimea!" Candice says, scrambling to her feet and red hands reaching out. But Uschi has a longer grip, and the flower calms as Cressida makes it safe, and even offers a happy smile to the glowing galaxy. "Yes! It's nice to see you again. You're very athletic! I could never do that without falling and breaking something."

Candice turns towards Uschi, next, looking up at the ogress with guileless, vaguely guilty eyes, "I know. I wasn't going to go too far from the gate! But I saw it, and just needed a peek, to get some sun. And then I saw the little pool of water and had to collect a few things, especially the stalks of Chu Chu. I got quite a few!" She happily says, "It makes an excellent lemonade." But then she remembers she's being scolded, despite being in her early twenties, and looks crestfallen yet again, "I'm new to town-- I was just painting on my hike, when I saw the gate. I didn't know there was someone in charge to meet. I just wanted a few moments and some fruits."

Crimea! That's not her name! But that's okay because Cressida suddenly realizes thaaaaaat ...she doesn't really remember the Flower's name either. Last night was a blur of handshakes and shouting. "Don't worry," -- she stops short of saying 'You' -- "..I got this. And if I fall, I fall. Such is the way of things." She gives Candice crooked grin and an affectionate little cuff to the shoulder which, unbeknownst to her, will probably leave a mark. SO FRAGILE AND DELICATE.

Shoulderbump to Uschi: like hitting a rock.

Shoulderbump to Candice: like punching one's fist through tissue paper.

Anyway.

The star places her hands on her hips, her attention settling on the Ogress with the amazing hair. Like, for serious. It's like .. three frizzy spikes sticking out at haphazard angles from her noggin -- Cressida fights the urge to touch one of them and twinkles extra-EXTRA from the effort. "Yeah, we probably should," she admits when Uschi suggests they retreat topside but the way she says it also seems to carry the unspoken undercurrent of '..but we probably won't'. "Hedge witch say what now?" The star scritches the side of her nose and the starstuff just beneath the surface of her skin shifts and swirls.

"Well ya know what they say; when life gives you Chu Chu... Make yer enemies consume them prior ta goin' in and bashin' them against the rocks." Uschi starts to laugh -- it's like listening to boulders crush a small tree, yet there's this high pitched whine thrown in some how? Un.fucking.settling, that's what that sound is. But she -seems- like she's in a good mood? A curious hand reaches out to paw at the air near Candice, as if she's trying to get a better look at stuff the Elemental may be hiding in her pockets. "Hows about this -- I'll make sure youse get home safely, an you gimme a bit of that whot ya picked up today? How's that sound?"

That sounds like a thinly veiled threat, that's what. But is that just an internalised anti-Ogeress bias? Maybe Uschi really does want to help! Hard to tell, though, hard to tell...

A long glance to Cressida is given -- with the Dusk woman so close, Uschi's Moon mantle is being blotted out: leaving her less shadowy, and more... Ogressy. Oh. What teeth she has! What horns! What amazingly unkept hair! What, she live in the forest or something? Yes. She does. So with these ladies, maybe she's in good, albeit odd, company. "A moth told me, there is onna them... Waykeeper Houses, down there in town. Shame... Shame rules here, for the season. Me? I'm onna lookout for the top Witch. I gotta bone to pick with 'em."

And here Uschi moves - jerking her shoulder up, so her left arm twists up and just sort of, flops a bit. Like flakes of pastry falling from a pain au raisin, translucent waxy scales shed from her arm and start to softly float towards the Trod floor. That better not be contagious.

That punch! Candice flinches at it, stumbling back a step and her hand immediately goes up to touch her shoulder. The soft scent that's always around her - warm, soothing, comforting, almost - intensifies, but Candice rubs her shoulder, looking over at Cressida with those big red eyes, "Way of things. Right. Um, please be careful. I bruise easily." Because it wasn't bad /enough/ she's here, she's also apparently way more fragile than suspected!

Uschi's words cause her to blink in some confusion, but she smiles along, laughing as Uschi does because well, she didn't know that saying, but it is kind of funny. And Uschi and Cressida are both so nice, worrying about her! So when Uschi starts her extortion racket, the ingenuelike blossom only nods her head, quite agreeably, "That sounds fair! And I have lots of some of what I picked, I won't need it all. What are people ashamed of, this season?" Her nose wrinkles, "I really am really, really new in town, and I didn't do much with freeholds before. I visited a few, but I never joined any." Not part of a group, went on a hike alone, went into a hedgegate alone, possibly doesn't know very many people in town... yeah, keep talking, Candice. Just keep chattering and smiling.

Are there rules to follow? Cressida is not a big on following rules and she's not a member of the Freehold soooooo... this chitter-chatter about Shame and Waykeepers and top Witch goes in one ear and out the other. What she is more focused on is this offer of safe passage. The star presses her lips into a thoughtful line, pushing her mouth over to one side as she considers this ... helpful overture? Aggressive threat? Confidence game? She's an Elemental so it's hard for her to work out subtly. Between her and Candice, pretty soon the two of them are going to be owners of the Brooklyn Bridge.

"Wait a second.." the star says, throwing her arm out across Candice lest the flower start giving away all her stuff. It's a dark day indeed when Twinkle McSparklepants is the savvy one. "If the hedgegate is right here," -- she jerks her thumb back at it, see! -- "..why do we need you to get us where we are going safely, huh?" It took some mental math -- carry the two, divide by B, multiple by giraffe -- but she is getting there. Slowly.

Or is she?

Cressida looks very, very uncertain.

Uschi's brow creases as Candice gets punched and threatens to fold up, wither and die. A murky eye is tilted in Cressida's direction, but all Uschi does is start to make this 'chaka-chaka-chaka' sound. Oh. That's a chuckle. "Youse two must've got onna them... Whatta ya call it... Lead a charmed ex-hiss-stance." Slow and steady. Words done, the Ogress turns to give Candice her full attention, nodding slowly. "Mighty generous of ya, missy. An' I reckon they's ashamed of jus' about e'erythin'. Sun Court don' seem to mind much, where it shines its polished nose in, d'ja get me?"

Sounds like somebody ain't that fond of Suns. Go figure.

"So, if we start headin'..." Oh. And then there's Cressida's arm, blocking the space 'tween Uschi and Candice. The Ogress blinks slowly, and turns to peer at the Bright One with... Incomprehension. It takes Uschi a short while, but she looks from the two Elementals, to the Hedgegate, and back again. Cracked fingernails reach out, and she starts scratching at the seam in her left shoulder, where that tawny-grey skin has been melded with the scaly, translucent pink of that dead arm.

So Cressida is... Very obviously the HWIC -- Head Wyrdo In Charge. This should be addressed delicately. Good thing Uschi's an Ogress.

There's a sharp snorting sound, then Uschi licks a cuspid and continues. "It ain't whot's 'tween here an' there, lady -- it's whot's 'tween that on the other side an' wherever Petal here needs ta go. Youse think /we're/ the only ones ramblin' 'round in these hills? Hah!" A bark of laughter - then she lifts a curled finger, wiggling it in Cressida's direction. At least she's smiling! "Tamarack Falls is a good place for fair folk to get got, d'ja get me? Picture me as a... Chap-a-roné. S'only costa ya some Chu Chu."

Uschi's comment about a 'charmed existence' has Candice smiling, rueful and guilty, "I was sick when I was younger." She admits. "So my parents were, very protective, you know? I was home schooled and did a lot of online courses for college." The delicate girl says with a smile up at Uschi. She's so very pale, the lips so brightly yellow, the eyes red but such a crystal, clear red, and those flowers that form at her feet, lilies and larkspurs and oleanders around her booted feet. A fragile, somewhat...strange beauty, to be sure, but still pretty. "And I've been pretty fragile, all these years. I have to be careful, so I avoid getting bruised and broken."

Unlike Cressida, she seems more confused than anything else at the talk of shame and waykeepers-- interested but not THAT interested. But while she looks into her bag to dutifully retrieve the hedgefruits, Cressida is there! Defending her rights! Making the blossom blink, repeatedly, as the logic settles in her mind, and then she looks at Uschi-- and smiles. Is that a chin dimple? Good lord. We can only pray it isn't. "Oh! Well, why don't we go to where the freehold sits?" She says brightly, deciding well-- might as well take advantage of the situation. "They must have a market for things. Cristina, have you been to the freehold yet? Oh! I'm sorry," She looks back up at Candice, "I'm Candice." She holds out a hand to shake - the hand attached to the shoulder that WASN'T punched. "I'll give you half the fruits I've collected, if you show me around!" SO enthusiastic! Look at those eyes *sparkle* like little rubies.

Her hands, it should be noted, are streaked red at the forearms to solid red at her fingertips - in contrast to her pale, petal-white face.

Oh shit, Cressida is in charge? Well, everyone is fuckin' doomed then. So sorry, Candice. So, so sorry. She is, after all, the God of Chaos, Bad Ideas and Death. Nothing she suggests is going to guide them along the safest route on the decision tree. Too bad y'all didn't run into the God of Seat Belts and the Five Year Plans. Too Bad. *sad trombone*

When Uschi warns of what's /out there/, Cressida slowly lowers her arm from in front of the Flowergirl and cocks her head to one side, the orbits of her various planets tipping as a result. A translucent moon swings past and phases through Uschi's body, entering via her back and popping out through her chest. It's just a figment so there is no sense or feeling to it but there it is. A moon. Coming out of her chest and then continuing on its trajectory. Fwoop.

"We're both new here," the twinkling Elemental says. She gives a nod to Candice, a quick 'okay, give her the froots' nod, but keeps her focus on Uschi. "Whatcha mean about Tamarack Falls? What's the deal here, huh?" It should be noted that it hasn't escaped her that Candice keeps saying her name wrong -- Crimea! Cristina! -- although perhaps she is not really connecting the dots that the other Elemental is talking about /her/. Maybe she just has, like, name-Tourette's and simply babbles random monikers as she speaks.

It wouldn't be the weirdest thing..

As Candice starts to give her life story, Uschi's eyes just sort of... Glaze over. They also wander, and what with Dusk cancelling out her Mantle? Uschi's eye are entirely visible: wolfish yellow things, drifting over Candice's perfect petal form as the Elemental speaks to her. Look at her hands! So red. That skin! So white. Those lips! Also very yellow... But a warning perhaps? The pained expression on Uschi's face could be sympathy for Candice's tale - or incomprehension of her words - or just an internal debate raging. What indicates if a flower is poisonous again? Uschi is obviously a survivalist, she should know...

"We ain't going to Market." That's the only reply that Uschi has for Candice -- but next thing she knows, a small moon is poppin' out of the middle of the Moon Ogress' chest - and she's stepping back, barefoot on those stones, in an attempt to follow the trajectory of that little satellite. So celestial!

It's distracting. Real distracting. Uschi's hackles go up - not quite metaphorically, there is a literal bristling of her downy skin as she looks around, trying to stay vigilant to the local Hedge -- i.e., the potential nightmare deathtrap of a billion suffering screams.

"Whut?... Tamarack Falls. Do I look like a fuckin' tour guide? I only got here tha other week. We gotta find onna them big wigs on the welcome wagon if we want the whole story, but I heard rumours... Death has had this place before. Why youse think the local 'hold only popped up 'round her, whut, one... One, two, two years ago?" Uschi barks out a bit of laughter, then ehs and starts to shuffle forward - a loping gait towards Earth. "But me? Imma head in to town, get one of them cakes from that shop wot serves cats an' vee-gans. Don't worry, they ain't contagious."

Does Uschi look like a tour guide? I dunno. Maybe? When it comes to their world, you can't really count on appearances and just because someone looks like:

      THAT

..doesn't mean they aren't a wealth of information. Buuuut it turns out that Uschi's well is dry so they are, the three of them, just stumbling around in the proverbial dark.

"The freehold's only been around for a year or two?" Cressida echoes, her train pulling into the station waaaaaaaay behind schedule. She stands there, her mouth hanging open as she considers this and then she simply huffs out a loud: "HUH." That's all the Elemental has to say about that: HUH. Suddenly, she reaches out and takes the Flower's hand, giving it a little tug to spur her delicate pal into motion.

"Come on, Tulip. Let's get going."

Starting to follow Uschi, Cressida begins to drag Candice toward the gaping wide crevasses. OH SHIT. Is she expecting Daisy Petalbottom to go all Frogger-style to the Hedgegate, like the star was doing earlier?! It .. it seems like this is /exactly/ her plan. Oh noooooooooo!!

Just kidding!

At the very last second, when Candice is probably going OMG NO WAIT STOP AAAAAHHHH, the Star makes a sharp turn and guides the fragile plant along a much safer, less jump-y route. See? She's not a dick 100-percent of the time!

Flowers are, tragically, a mixed bag - unlike animals, it can be tricky, to know which is poisonous and which aren't. But it is normally a safe bet to just... not eat anything mysterious, after all. Candice watches as Uschi gets moon-crazy, then just grouchy, and she looks faintly guilty once again, "Well, you offered--" She starts, but too late, she's already walking off, leaving an awkward Candice looking towards Cressida, to see if the other elemental knows anything more.

Of course Cressida doesn't. And then she's grabbing her arm, prompting a panicked, "Gently!" And no fight from Candice as she follows, before adding, "Candice! I'm Candice. I know your name has a C and an R, but-- Wait, wait!" Wide eyes, "I can't jump very far! And I bruise easily! And I'm not very good at running, or exercise, haven't been since I was sick as a kid— be careful--!"

Only to be incredibly relieved when they go to a more demure path. Embarrassed, she smiles at Cressida, offering the woman a blushberry as a peace offering, before waving and heading back towards the real world, "I left my water bottle and lunch outside the gate, I think. And my picnic basket-- I should probably have taken it with me--"

Fragile AND an airhead. Elementals, man.